If Mama Ain't Happy...

"If MAMA ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy"! The first time I saw this on a sweatshirt or some wall hanging I thought it was cute and took it to mean something like:  "You All Better Make Sure Your Mama is Happy or She'll Make Sure Your Not (including YOU, Dad!!)" I didn't like it!

The "mood" of the Mom surely sets the tone for the whole household. We call it a "mood" but let's be real and say that the behavior, actions, countenance, spirit and love of a Mother effect everyone around. It' easy to call it a "mood" and excuse our behavior as if it's something we ourselves are at the mercy of  like everyone else in our presence.

But really, we do make choices. Smiling is a choice. So is singing. It's hard to have a miserable countenance while smiling and singing. Another thing we can control, with the help of the Lord, is our thinking. Debbi Pearl in her excellent book Created to be His Help Meet calls thinking bad thoughts: "stinking thinking". Thoughts like "what about ME" or "what a jerk my husband can be sometimes" seem common and possibly innocent enough, BUT nurse one of those for just a while and you'll have a full blown case of misery!We are taught in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to "Cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ..." This can seem like a full time job in itself considering that we have the Devil going about as a Roaring Lion seeking whom He may devour and that sometimes the thoughts just come. But, we also have the promise that if we resist the Devil...HE WILL FLEE. We must conscientiously replace the stinking thinking with thoughts that please God and line up with His Word! "Greater is He that is in You than he that is in the World", there's infinitely more power in thinking God's thoughts after Him than the power that Satan has to try to defeat us.

 The enemy is downright ruthless to us women. While trying to Bless God and follow His will, we often find ourselves physically tired and hormonally ambushed.  We stay up late, get up early and work when we're sick just to do what needs doing. A gentleman would see that we're frazzled and ready to break and offer some relief, but not him. Those are the very times he chooses to attack us. There is no compassionate thought like "Oh poor thing, look at her, she's plumb worn out just caring for her little ones and house... I think I'll just let her rest" Ha, that's the furthest thing from his hateful mind, because when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Can we find a way to keep smiling? One thing I've learned is to LISTEN to my husband. I pray that God will give him wisdom to lead our family and that includes me. In the past I have scoffed at my Jeff's advice and attempts to help me. One thing he can always tell is when I'm tired. So many times I remember him telling me to take a nap when I had much to do:  company coming, personal (not necessarily God's) ambitions, house to clean, dinner to make etc... taking a nap would be, to my mind, the very thing that would ruin it all! He'd say "You're so tired, just take a short nap and everything will come together better for you afterward" and I'd scoff because usually this suggestion was to be followed right while my little ones were sleeping which was my "chance" to get things done. Turns out, it IS alot easier to smile when your rested! And things do come together better too. This goes for the going to bed late and getting up earlier bit also. There's a little quote in one of my cookbooks that reads "Go to bed! Whatever  you're staying up late for isn't worth it!" I like that.

Eating wholesome, nourishing foods will go a long way to help balance our hormones and blood sugar levels. I had to learn the hard way that it is important to eat a healthy breakfast that includes a significant amount of protein (especially when I was carrying a baby). On busy mornings, when I'd skip or skimp on breakfast to get more done or go somewhere, I'd be fine until about mid-morning when I would crash! Overwhelm would set it, I'd feel nervous, depressed and unable to cope with even little things like someone calling... "MOM". Sometimes I'd run to my room crying; feeling like a failure because of my lack of patience. Once I realized the importance of my morning meal, I learned to make it a priority. Now, I'm actually afraid to skip it! This is another area where God gave Jeff wisdom to guide me. It was he who observed this blood sugar drop and would ask me what I had eaten. I have a sweet memory of the time he made me sit down while he fed me peanut butter with a spoon! I laugh now but it was serious business then.

What will our children, our husbands, or our guests recall about us in years to come?  I've had to lay aside alot of my personal (not necessarily God's) ambitions, cut corners, take naps and learn to keep meals and other things simple. Have you heard about the woman who cut so many corners while raising her children that eventually she had cut away everything she could, leaving a circle of love around her family? There are hundreds of thousands of good things we can do but, we must learn to choose to include or exclude them according to what we can reasonably fit in and still smile.

It is convicting for me to write all of these thoughts on smiling. I'm sure my older children will remember me less for that than some. My life in Christ is a work in progress. The more I realize how He smiles on me, no matter what I do or am, the more free I feel to smile on my family.

So all of this is to say... I think the little saying is an important one after all. "If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy". You won't see that on my sweatshirt or on my wall but I think I'll write it out and hang it in my bedroom where I can be reminded. By God's Grace I want to do whatever it takes to have a happy home!


One time, years ago (although it could have been yesterday) I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I was scolding my children. I looked really ugly and the image has stuck with me. Thankfully, there aren't too many photos like that so I've posted a few happy-face ones.