"Before They Ask..."

     Fatigue and nausea were all I seemed to know during the first few months of carrying Mary. Feeling sick and exhausted I flopped on the couch, next to Jeff, early one morning just after our children had left for school. The prospect of getting through the day was a bit overwhelming with toddlers who needed me and lots of work to do. I made up my mind to call her and Jeff agreed.

 

Just moments later... the phone rang and it was Lori (the girl I just mentioned) calling to say that she had the day free and was wondering if she could come and help me? Tears of joy and relief flowed as I told her what I had just been thinking. You can imagine how happy she was too, to know that it was the Holy Spirit that had prompted her. 
 I don't remember whether the nausea lifted but I do know that the overwhelm did! God was watching out for me and performed this small miracle to let me know it. Immediately, my mind went to the verse: "And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear. Isaiah 65:2

That's not the only time our family has been on the receiving end. Sometimes it's been hard to be humble - to admit my need and that I can't always manage, stay on top...whatever. Always it has been a blessing, for I have formed friendships with "my girls" that live on.  
Once, I asked a friend, whose daughter was helping me weekly, how I could ever repay her? She told me I'd not be repaying her but passing on the blessing to others in years to come. This week my daughter, Grace, is away helping a family who is expecting a little one soon. I love having my girls help other Moms.

     God's Word says that "it is better to give than to receive". But remember, that in order for others to get to "give" someone has to be willing to receive. It's a bless-bless situation.

If Mama Ain't Happy...

"If MAMA ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy"! The first time I saw this on a sweatshirt or some wall hanging I thought it was cute and took it to mean something like:  "You All Better Make Sure Your Mama is Happy or She'll Make Sure Your Not (including YOU, Dad!!)" I didn't like it!

The "mood" of the Mom surely sets the tone for the whole household. We call it a "mood" but let's be real and say that the behavior, actions, countenance, spirit and love of a Mother effect everyone around. It' easy to call it a "mood" and excuse our behavior as if it's something we ourselves are at the mercy of  like everyone else in our presence.

But really, we do make choices. Smiling is a choice. So is singing. It's hard to have a miserable countenance while smiling and singing. Another thing we can control, with the help of the Lord, is our thinking. Debbi Pearl in her excellent book Created to be His Help Meet calls thinking bad thoughts: "stinking thinking". Thoughts like "what about ME" or "what a jerk my husband can be sometimes" seem common and possibly innocent enough, BUT nurse one of those for just a while and you'll have a full blown case of misery!We are taught in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to "Cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ..." This can seem like a full time job in itself considering that we have the Devil going about as a Roaring Lion seeking whom He may devour and that sometimes the thoughts just come. But, we also have the promise that if we resist the Devil...HE WILL FLEE. We must conscientiously replace the stinking thinking with thoughts that please God and line up with His Word! "Greater is He that is in You than he that is in the World", there's infinitely more power in thinking God's thoughts after Him than the power that Satan has to try to defeat us.

 The enemy is downright ruthless to us women. While trying to Bless God and follow His will, we often find ourselves physically tired and hormonally ambushed.  We stay up late, get up early and work when we're sick just to do what needs doing. A gentleman would see that we're frazzled and ready to break and offer some relief, but not him. Those are the very times he chooses to attack us. There is no compassionate thought like "Oh poor thing, look at her, she's plumb worn out just caring for her little ones and house... I think I'll just let her rest" Ha, that's the furthest thing from his hateful mind, because when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Can we find a way to keep smiling? One thing I've learned is to LISTEN to my husband. I pray that God will give him wisdom to lead our family and that includes me. In the past I have scoffed at my Jeff's advice and attempts to help me. One thing he can always tell is when I'm tired. So many times I remember him telling me to take a nap when I had much to do:  company coming, personal (not necessarily God's) ambitions, house to clean, dinner to make etc... taking a nap would be, to my mind, the very thing that would ruin it all! He'd say "You're so tired, just take a short nap and everything will come together better for you afterward" and I'd scoff because usually this suggestion was to be followed right while my little ones were sleeping which was my "chance" to get things done. Turns out, it IS alot easier to smile when your rested! And things do come together better too. This goes for the going to bed late and getting up earlier bit also. There's a little quote in one of my cookbooks that reads "Go to bed! Whatever  you're staying up late for isn't worth it!" I like that.

Eating wholesome, nourishing foods will go a long way to help balance our hormones and blood sugar levels. I had to learn the hard way that it is important to eat a healthy breakfast that includes a significant amount of protein (especially when I was carrying a baby). On busy mornings, when I'd skip or skimp on breakfast to get more done or go somewhere, I'd be fine until about mid-morning when I would crash! Overwhelm would set it, I'd feel nervous, depressed and unable to cope with even little things like someone calling... "MOM". Sometimes I'd run to my room crying; feeling like a failure because of my lack of patience. Once I realized the importance of my morning meal, I learned to make it a priority. Now, I'm actually afraid to skip it! This is another area where God gave Jeff wisdom to guide me. It was he who observed this blood sugar drop and would ask me what I had eaten. I have a sweet memory of the time he made me sit down while he fed me peanut butter with a spoon! I laugh now but it was serious business then.

What will our children, our husbands, or our guests recall about us in years to come?  I've had to lay aside alot of my personal (not necessarily God's) ambitions, cut corners, take naps and learn to keep meals and other things simple. Have you heard about the woman who cut so many corners while raising her children that eventually she had cut away everything she could, leaving a circle of love around her family? There are hundreds of thousands of good things we can do but, we must learn to choose to include or exclude them according to what we can reasonably fit in and still smile.

It is convicting for me to write all of these thoughts on smiling. I'm sure my older children will remember me less for that than some. My life in Christ is a work in progress. The more I realize how He smiles on me, no matter what I do or am, the more free I feel to smile on my family.

So all of this is to say... I think the little saying is an important one after all. "If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy". You won't see that on my sweatshirt or on my wall but I think I'll write it out and hang it in my bedroom where I can be reminded. By God's Grace I want to do whatever it takes to have a happy home!


One time, years ago (although it could have been yesterday) I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I was scolding my children. I looked really ugly and the image has stuck with me. Thankfully, there aren't too many photos like that so I've posted a few happy-face ones.

In Due Season

"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Gal 6:9

      Today my life seems much easier than it did yesterday! Back when the children were all small and the work load was large, I remember kind ladies (like me) :) encouraging me by telling me things such as "just wait" and "it will get easier" and "you've got some good help on the way". I don't know when exactly any of these well-wishes came true but they did!
      I guess I realized it all over again when I came home the other day. I had gone to "work-out" after school. Not in the garden. Not pushing a stroller. Not at a 9 to 5 job, but at an actual "work-out" place. While I was gone, the bread was baked, the house was cleaned (up), groceries were brought in and a few children finished their school work. Once home, I soaked in a hot bath while dinner was made,the table set and firewood hauled in. After dinner, I prepared lessons for the next day, while the dishes were being washed and the kitchen cleaned.  Later,we relaxed and watched a video together (drive through Ancient Greece) :)
      I took stock of how nice this was and am sharing it not to brag in any way, but to simply acknowledge that the ladies were right! And to encourage young Moms who are in the busy and sometimes tired years. Most of all I want to give God the Glory!  
      It's no mistake that we have our babies when we're younger and enjoy the companionship of our children when they get older. We've so much more energy earlier on. It's hard for me to believe that after 27 years:  there are no diapers to change, I (usually) stay in bed all night and in a few months my "baby" will have no more car-seat!!
      My life isn't really any easier though, not really. I have different burdens to bear now...not quite as much physical labor, thus the "working-out" but a lot more to "worry" about. Now, my job is to translate that worry into prayer. 

      The other night I lay awake and thought to myself that I was much like a mother hen, checking her eggs; rolling them over one by one, in my mind, in prayer. They are all over the place; one in Wyoming, one in Utah, one in S.Cal. And that's always changing. Next time I turn around they'll be in different places with different people doing different things. They don't all follow me around the yard anymore...so I must keep track through watching and prayer. How thankful I am for my Heavenly Father who knows all, sees all and is right wherever my children are, always.