On Empty

Have you ever felt empty? Completely depleted. Used up. Finished? That's me today!
I feel like an overloaded charcoal water filter cartridge. One that adsorbs all of the gunky toxins from everything that flows through it.  I've patiently listened to squabble after debate after offense after altercation until I'm beyond blue in the face...I'm blue through and through! Now what?
Do what I've always done...throw my hands up, leave the room, throw myself on my bed and cry! And cry. That always relieves at least some of the tension. After that I can think for awhile. So, I think. I think, "wow...I am overwhelmed, maxed out, done for". And yet I also think, everything will be alright (for it always has been). Then I think a prayer; "Oh, God help me, please? - You've got the wrong person for this job, I can't do it anymore!" Once I get that out I'm on the road to recovery! For it is in that request, that statement of self-hopelessness that I release all of my anxiety and throw myself on the only One who can and will pick me up and cause me to stand again.
My spirit begins to commune with His and the Word which is hidden in my heart begins to manifest the peace that passes understanding.

Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 2:19




Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence.(1Co 1:25-29)

Philippians 4:13

 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22

God has also blessed me with a tender and understanding husband who upon seeing me in such a distress, admonished everyone in the house to please be quiet... (I know they hoped I'd fall asleep). After this "time out" and the above stated meditations and prayers I was able to return refreshed to my work (that of teaching and training children) and press on.

Mothering can and will be overwhelming at times but God is faithful always and will calm the storm within so that we can weather the storms without. I have never asked God for help and had the answer be "NO"!

Here are lyrics to a song that often courses through my mind:

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
'Cause deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The Warrior is a Child

Our Twenty-ninth Anniversary

Our Twenty-ninth Anniversary...

This lovely bouquet was given to us by our children (and some of their friends) along with a box of chocolates!


I have an old water stained (from falling off of the kitchen window sill into the dish water numerous times) flip calendar of verses that I purchased about 12 years ago for 25 cents at a thrift store that continues to bless me through the years. A few days before our 29th anniversary I read this there:
Perhaps the greatest blessing in marriage is that it lasts so long.  The years, like the varying interests of each year, combine to buttress and enrich each other.  Out of many shared years, one life.  In a series of temporary relationships, one misses the ripening, gathering, harvesting joys, the deep, hard-won truths of marriage. 
Richard C. Cabot

Our anniversary was spent doing ordinary things, like working for a living and caring for our home and family. These are the most precious times of our lives after all and living them out on a special occasion such as this seemed, well....fitting!  The above quote really says so much. There is no one else who knows me quite like my husband or loves me as much. It's at once humbling and elating to realize that he loves me in spite of knowing all about me. Over the years we have become so very like minded...we have the same taste, like the same foods, share the same opinions and hold the same view and values. 
Maybe when God's Word says "The two shall become one flesh" there's more to the 'become' than we realize.
At the end of the day we did go out for a lovely steak and lobster dinner and all the while I sat across from Jeff thinking....how many times have we eaten out like this? Oh, the challenges, victories, defeats, joys and sorrows we have shared. Of course it hasn't always been easy, but worth it? Most definitely!


I praise and thank God for making me who I am...my husband's wife! 

Phonics

I love teaching my children to read! It's just as much of a thrill as hearing them lisp their first words and watching them take their first steps. I'm so glad that I get to be the one to lead them onto the reading road that will take them into God's precious Word and onto so many other avenues of learning along life's way.

 One person who can explain how to teach little ones to read better than any I've heard is Ruth Beechick and she does so in her excellent little booklet entitled: "A Home Starts in Reading". Additionally, her book "A Biblical Home Education" has a wonderful chapter on teaching reading, which I highly recommend. Beyond that chapter...the entire book is the best I've read on Home Schooling. The general idea I gleaned from her is this:   that if you wait until the child is ready, teach them some of the sounds and let them read what they can right away rather than waiting until they've mastered each phonogram, they will gradually, on their own (with your help of course), put together a combination of phonetic and sight reading.

I have my children write the letters neatly on top of letters that I have lightly penciled in.  (I used to make dotted letters for them to trace but to save time have adopted this lightly penciled method). We start with the 2 o'clock letters : a,c,d,f,g,o,q and s.  And of course their name. And God, Dad and Mom...these are always favorites! While carefully tracing the letter, they must also repeat that letter's sound. This engages three  modes of learning all at once:  visual, auditory and kinetic...aka eye, ears and hands. By now they have learned enough sounds to start combining them into words...and they love that. Later I add the rest of the vowels, then the consonants, followed by the blends and digraphs. Typically at some point we will leave of teaching phonics because suddenly they just take off and know how to read!

I have plenty of phonics helps around but we keep going back to a little pack of phonics flashcards that we acquired somewhere along the way. What I like about these is that they have photos of everyday objects that the child can recognize, rather than cartoons or other whimsical drawings. We once had a set that featured "Magic" for the letter "m" and pictured a magician waving his black hat. Yuck! My kids can't even identify that when they're that little (thankfully!)

Peter and I were going through these flashcards today,  when we came to this one. All excited, he responded with "I know that one! It's IDOL! "He's never heard of a unicorn since there aren't any such creatures and immediately recognized it as an idol.  That thrilled my heart. I need to tape a photo of something else over that one.   Hmmm what starts with long u? Universe! That's it...I must find a small photo of the universe!

Yes, teaching children to read is an amazing, soul stirring, satisfying job. Seeing them take off, like Joseph has, with reading "Genesis" on his own is such a reward. Probably the most important virtue in a reading teacher is patience. If your little one is not understanding, he may not be ready for what you are trying to teach him. It might be that he needs a day or a month or several months before his is ready. In my experience, it's better to wait for them to bring things to me asking me, "what does this say?" than to push them ( I know...for I have pushed to the point of tears:( !) If they are not ready, just keep reading them wonderful stories, showing them what treasures await those who learn to read.