If Mama Ain't Happy...

"If MAMA ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy"! The first time I saw this on a sweatshirt or some wall hanging I thought it was cute and took it to mean something like:  "You All Better Make Sure Your Mama is Happy or She'll Make Sure Your Not (including YOU, Dad!!)" I didn't like it!

The "mood" of the Mom surely sets the tone for the whole household. We call it a "mood" but let's be real and say that the behavior, actions, countenance, spirit and love of a Mother effect everyone around. It' easy to call it a "mood" and excuse our behavior as if it's something we ourselves are at the mercy of  like everyone else in our presence.

But really, we do make choices. Smiling is a choice. So is singing. It's hard to have a miserable countenance while smiling and singing. Another thing we can control, with the help of the Lord, is our thinking. Debbi Pearl in her excellent book Created to be His Help Meet calls thinking bad thoughts: "stinking thinking". Thoughts like "what about ME" or "what a jerk my husband can be sometimes" seem common and possibly innocent enough, BUT nurse one of those for just a while and you'll have a full blown case of misery!We are taught in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to "Cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ..." This can seem like a full time job in itself considering that we have the Devil going about as a Roaring Lion seeking whom He may devour and that sometimes the thoughts just come. But, we also have the promise that if we resist the Devil...HE WILL FLEE. We must conscientiously replace the stinking thinking with thoughts that please God and line up with His Word! "Greater is He that is in You than he that is in the World", there's infinitely more power in thinking God's thoughts after Him than the power that Satan has to try to defeat us.

 The enemy is downright ruthless to us women. While trying to Bless God and follow His will, we often find ourselves physically tired and hormonally ambushed.  We stay up late, get up early and work when we're sick just to do what needs doing. A gentleman would see that we're frazzled and ready to break and offer some relief, but not him. Those are the very times he chooses to attack us. There is no compassionate thought like "Oh poor thing, look at her, she's plumb worn out just caring for her little ones and house... I think I'll just let her rest" Ha, that's the furthest thing from his hateful mind, because when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Can we find a way to keep smiling? One thing I've learned is to LISTEN to my husband. I pray that God will give him wisdom to lead our family and that includes me. In the past I have scoffed at my Jeff's advice and attempts to help me. One thing he can always tell is when I'm tired. So many times I remember him telling me to take a nap when I had much to do:  company coming, personal (not necessarily God's) ambitions, house to clean, dinner to make etc... taking a nap would be, to my mind, the very thing that would ruin it all! He'd say "You're so tired, just take a short nap and everything will come together better for you afterward" and I'd scoff because usually this suggestion was to be followed right while my little ones were sleeping which was my "chance" to get things done. Turns out, it IS alot easier to smile when your rested! And things do come together better too. This goes for the going to bed late and getting up earlier bit also. There's a little quote in one of my cookbooks that reads "Go to bed! Whatever  you're staying up late for isn't worth it!" I like that.

Eating wholesome, nourishing foods will go a long way to help balance our hormones and blood sugar levels. I had to learn the hard way that it is important to eat a healthy breakfast that includes a significant amount of protein (especially when I was carrying a baby). On busy mornings, when I'd skip or skimp on breakfast to get more done or go somewhere, I'd be fine until about mid-morning when I would crash! Overwhelm would set it, I'd feel nervous, depressed and unable to cope with even little things like someone calling... "MOM". Sometimes I'd run to my room crying; feeling like a failure because of my lack of patience. Once I realized the importance of my morning meal, I learned to make it a priority. Now, I'm actually afraid to skip it! This is another area where God gave Jeff wisdom to guide me. It was he who observed this blood sugar drop and would ask me what I had eaten. I have a sweet memory of the time he made me sit down while he fed me peanut butter with a spoon! I laugh now but it was serious business then.

What will our children, our husbands, or our guests recall about us in years to come?  I've had to lay aside alot of my personal (not necessarily God's) ambitions, cut corners, take naps and learn to keep meals and other things simple. Have you heard about the woman who cut so many corners while raising her children that eventually she had cut away everything she could, leaving a circle of love around her family? There are hundreds of thousands of good things we can do but, we must learn to choose to include or exclude them according to what we can reasonably fit in and still smile.

It is convicting for me to write all of these thoughts on smiling. I'm sure my older children will remember me less for that than some. My life in Christ is a work in progress. The more I realize how He smiles on me, no matter what I do or am, the more free I feel to smile on my family.

So all of this is to say... I think the little saying is an important one after all. "If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy". You won't see that on my sweatshirt or on my wall but I think I'll write it out and hang it in my bedroom where I can be reminded. By God's Grace I want to do whatever it takes to have a happy home!


One time, years ago (although it could have been yesterday) I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I was scolding my children. I looked really ugly and the image has stuck with me. Thankfully, there aren't too many photos like that so I've posted a few happy-face ones.

In Due Season

"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Gal 6:9

      Today my life seems much easier than it did yesterday! Back when the children were all small and the work load was large, I remember kind ladies (like me) :) encouraging me by telling me things such as "just wait" and "it will get easier" and "you've got some good help on the way". I don't know when exactly any of these well-wishes came true but they did!
      I guess I realized it all over again when I came home the other day. I had gone to "work-out" after school. Not in the garden. Not pushing a stroller. Not at a 9 to 5 job, but at an actual "work-out" place. While I was gone, the bread was baked, the house was cleaned (up), groceries were brought in and a few children finished their school work. Once home, I soaked in a hot bath while dinner was made,the table set and firewood hauled in. After dinner, I prepared lessons for the next day, while the dishes were being washed and the kitchen cleaned.  Later,we relaxed and watched a video together (drive through Ancient Greece) :)
      I took stock of how nice this was and am sharing it not to brag in any way, but to simply acknowledge that the ladies were right! And to encourage young Moms who are in the busy and sometimes tired years. Most of all I want to give God the Glory!  
      It's no mistake that we have our babies when we're younger and enjoy the companionship of our children when they get older. We've so much more energy earlier on. It's hard for me to believe that after 27 years:  there are no diapers to change, I (usually) stay in bed all night and in a few months my "baby" will have no more car-seat!!
      My life isn't really any easier though, not really. I have different burdens to bear now...not quite as much physical labor, thus the "working-out" but a lot more to "worry" about. Now, my job is to translate that worry into prayer. 

      The other night I lay awake and thought to myself that I was much like a mother hen, checking her eggs; rolling them over one by one, in my mind, in prayer. They are all over the place; one in Wyoming, one in Utah, one in S.Cal. And that's always changing. Next time I turn around they'll be in different places with different people doing different things. They don't all follow me around the yard anymore...so I must keep track through watching and prayer. How thankful I am for my Heavenly Father who knows all, sees all and is right wherever my children are, always. 

In Sickness and in Health

It's a good thing that I like taking care of sick people, for that is just what and pretty much all that I did last week! Eight of our nine children at home were all sick at once, which is preferable to having just a couple succumb each day and the whole routine going on for a couple of weeks. It was a horrible virus; severe headache, fever, chills, aches accompanied by a sudden onset tight chest cough.

Our living room/sick room

Thankfully, neither I nor Jeff ever got the bug! Little Peter didn't either (until Sunday) and was quite lonesome and wondered why no one wanted to play with him. His usual energy and antics quite irritated the convalescing ones. Happily his neglect was well rewarded when he did fall ill, he reaped the  sympathetic caring of all those on the mend.

This bout was on the heels of a head cold that went around the week before and so when James started with this awful cough and temperature of 103 degrees, I suspected he might have walking pneumonia...so I prayed and watched him closely and started him on hot lemon with honey, broth with lots of garlic and cayenne, vitamin C, vapor rubs etc. I also mixed up a batch of Elderberry Syrup which is an excellent antiviral and started everyone on about 3 TBS a day. I was actually relieved when Joe showed the symptoms the next day, for then I knew it was a new virus and that James was alright.

Extra time with big brother

By the next day, everyone had taken ill and moved from our cold basement into the living room, near the wood stove.  Right away I made a huge pot of turkey and noodle soup with lots of onions, fresh garlic and cayenne. We also happened to have a couple of cases of Knudsen's Recharge which I served liberally. This is a great way to supply electrolytes and avoid dehydration.  Everyone wanted something cold for their sore throats. Rather than buying expensive popsicles full of artificial coloring and sugar we froze Recharge in cups for slushies.  Another thing that really helped was putting frozen fruit through our Champion Juicer, which comes out just like ice cream without the cream and sugar...they loved that! And of course our trusty vaporizer was running full throttle the whole while. I'm also a firm believer in rubbing Vicks or Mentholatum all over the backs and chests of the sufferers to help loosen the stuff in the chest.

Kleenex on a roll :)

The whole living room became a sick ward. We watched lots of movies and read aloud. Thankfully, the weather was beautiful and we were able to open the windows in the afternoons and I could go for walks and refresh myself.  I was really impressed at how peaceful things were. Everyone realized that bickering and balking would only make things worse (or maybe they just didn't have the energy) or most probably, since they are ages 10 and up they took it in stride like we would expect they should.

I got to thinking about how seldom in the course of raising our family over the past 27 years we've  been to the doctor. Our first four children had many more doctor visits that the other seven have had combined. In fact, our youngest three have never been! They are 5, 8 and 10 now.

Ruthie reading on her floor bed

  A look at how our lifestyle has changed over the years sheds some light at why this might be. While the first four were young we took them to every prescribed check-up, and got the recommended immunizations. While I did stay at home with them, we dropped them off in the church nursery on Sundays with lots of little guys who spent most of their time in daycare. Too much sugar, white flour and junk foods became a concern about that time so we began grinding and baking our own wheat bread, using whole wheat in most of our cookies and things and halving the sugar in most recipes. Since then our diet and health has been steadily improving!

All that remains of a half gallon of honey and a bottle of lemon juice.

Along all this way I've been slowly learning and trying home remedies and herbals. For instance, I read that a drop of warm olive oil in the ear can alleviate an earache. I've practiced that for 20 years and never had to have anti-biotics for an ear infection. I'm sure that the realization of how important it is to avoid anti-biotics, coupled with the experience of enduring illnesses and recovery made me willing to "tough out" alot of  incidents. I believe that every time we "fight through" a dis-ease on our own we strengthen our body's immune system.

 These are just my thoughts and observations.  Above all God gets the Glory for keeping us safe and healthy and giving us Wisdom through the years.

Grace's new foam filled "bean bag" made a great extra bed this week.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5


We make what we call "Hot Lemon and Honey" by the potful. Simply bring water to a simmer and add lots of honey and preferably fresh squeezed lemon juice or bottled lemon juice. This is an all time family favorite which soothes the throat and spirit. I tried adding grated ginger but the flavor was too "warm" for my family and they preferred it without.